Friday, October 28, 2011

gym ancedote

Crazy story I heard in the gym this morning. After I did my 30 minutes of cardio, I was in the locker room, getting reading for the early brutal early cold, and I eavesdropped (like a lame Three's Company episode) on these two other cats in the locker room. The story went like this: the one guy said that when he was back in grad school he knew this couple. They had been going out for about two years. The man decided he really loved this woman. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with this Fly Girl. So he proposed. She said, "That's cool, baby." But there was a catch: they wouldn't have sex until their wedding night. Did I mention that since both were in grad school they couldn't marry for another two years? Obviously, this condition hit the guy like James Patterson having a good idea (FYI: he hasn't written a decent novel in at least 10 years). Like any homeboy with a reasonable libido, he talks to his girl's friends. They try talking to his fiancee (or is it fiance?). No luck. So after a week he tells his girl "see ya". That's what cracked me up! He wrestled for that shit all week. Guys contemplating sex for seven days is like an eternity. Funny stuff. . . .

Lapsed Catholic

Here's part of the reason why I have nothing to do with Christianity these days: a week or so ago, on this message board I communicate with my college crew, a former housemate said I misspelled an R.A.'s name, though he typed it in a mean way. At first I was gonna ignore it, but this former housemate had a tendency back in the day to bully me around in a verbal way, so I wrote that it was strong words from somebody who didn't include in his post the apostrophe in "hes" and he dropped the comma in a sentence where the last word was "right". Crazy thing was that other college peeps on the site congratulated me for striking back. THAT'S WHAT'S FUCKED UP ABOUT THE HUMAN RACE!!! You can never be pacifist! People -- women especially -- encourage aggressiveness. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we weren't always whipping out our swords (heh-heh, "whipping out")? That's what I loved about the New Testament as a young 'un. Turning the cheek. But I've learned over the years that turning the cheek means they'll slap the other cheek, then rip down your pants, slap both of those cheeks, then fuck you with ratchet wrench. Oh, is that too harsh for you? Guess it's time for you to move to Collingswood, NJ and pretend the tragedy a mile away in Camden is fine cuz it's out of sight, out of mind.