Friday, February 24, 2012

Maybe I'm Still a Socialist

I just took down a few books on eBay that had views and watchers in the low single digits. I figure if nobody's really interested, might as well give 'em way. Literacy's like herpes -- it's best to pass it on.

Illiterate America

Further proof that the average American hates to read: I had a bunch of books on eBay but just took most of 'em down 'cause they had hardly any views. Each one was $5, which included free shipping, and a lot were in mint condition from fairly popular authors, like Robert B. Parker. Sad, sad, sad.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

best headline of the day

Actually was in Tuesday's New York Times: "A Banker Who Unwinds by Photographing Prostitutes". If the link still works, you'll probably see a different headline. Ah, search engine optimization. . . .


Since I'm moving and downsizing, I found this in one of my trunks. Postmarked April 8, 1994, it came from my college roommate (I graduated in '93). I thought it was witty:

Dear Friends,

It is time once again to gather together in a frenzy of food, booze and debauchery. On Saturday April 30th, there will be a mass gathering at the home of my birth. Festivities will begin at or about 3 p.m. Saturday and will continue through Sunday May 1st, culminating with an eventing with 7 Seconds at City Gardens in beautiful Downtown Trenton. Saturday's festivities will consist of a massive barbecue running the length of the day. Sunday Brunch will consist of fruit juice and aspirin. If you want to attend the 7 Second show, please send $8.00 and your name care of: [[my friend's address]]

Please remember to reserve your weekend for this event for without you, my loyal friends, my like is meaningless.

Fondling Yours,

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Fishtown bound

Kinda jazzed. Looks like I'm moving to Philly's Fishtown borough (one subway stop from Center City). I checked out an apartment this morning and put some money down; haven't signed the lease yet. Glad to get out of the suburbs -- it's boring me to drink.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


We all know Obama is a coward
He's a wuss like Moe Howard
Once again no selection
Let's #OCCUPY the election!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Class Actress

Friday night in Philly in Fishtown, corner of Frankford and Girard Aves., around 9:30. A middle-aged white male yelled, "Same to you, asshole!" in one of those voices that send goose bumps up and down your spine -- the type of voice that's not only loud but also filled with unadulterated rage, the kind that leads to unpremeditated murder. The white male, who had the haggard look of someone who's borderline homeless, had said those words to a cab, which peeled right onto Frankford Ave. The white male stalked down Girard Ave. past a car or two to another cab. He got in, one foot in the street, and told the driver that the other cabbie was "a faggot". The white male closed the door behind him and yelled out the window, "He likes dick. DICK!!!"

And that's what I witnessed as I went into the bar/club Johnny Brenda's. I'd been there before with uneventful trips to and from my car. Maybe the 40-degree weather was what set that crazy cab passenger off.

I walked through the downstairs bar and went upstairs to the club. Johnny Brenda's website earlier in the day said the opening act, Prussia, were supposed to go on at 9:30. They walked on stage at 9:45. They must've already done a sound-check 'cause they picked up their instruments and got right into their half-hour set. I wasn't really into it; though, to be fair, I wasn't there to see them. These Detroit-ers had this synth-rock sound going on. Impressive how most of them were multi-instrumentalists.

After they finished up, the headliners took about 30 minutes to set up. While waiting, I did a little people-watching. I felt like an out-of-towner -- kinda true since I live at the tip of Northeast Philly, and even though it's only about 10 miles away, it's world's apart in the modern sense. My neighbourhood is full of sports-loving, functionally-illiterate, middle-class morons who rarely venture out of their row homes. The sold-out Johnny Brenda's was packed with 20-something hipsters; when they weren't murmuring in their low single-digit cabals, they were flicking through their iPhones, Apple lighting up their faces in the dark room so they could get their mobile fix, satisfying them until their technology-addicted brain craved more instant-gratification wireless activity.

Coincidence that I'm judgmental about technology while I do a blog post on Google?

Class Actress hit the stage at 10:45. (Hey, just like the Johnny Brenda's site said they would!) And they were amazing, thanks to the venue's sound system; one of the best for a place that size . . . about 300, in case you're wondering.

Class Actress have gotten pigeonholed with the label 80s synth revival. A bit unfair, I think. While synthesizers dominate their sound, singer Elizabeth Harper's voice sounds nothing like what came out of the Reagan decade. It's throaty with the allure of a siren, while at other times angelic, promoting Victorian values. And as far as the music goes, the two guys on keyboards play more like what you'll hear in a 2012 dance club.

The four piece (there was a drummer, too -- not sure why since it sounded like a drum machine drowned him out) started with "All the Saints". A wise choice with that catchy riff at the beginning. Still perplexes me why it's in the middle of their debut album, Rapprocher. Should be up near the front.

Their second song, I think, was "Keep You", which seems to be their big hit. A couple songs later came "Weekend", another danceable ditty popular with the kids.

They played for about 45 minutes with a one-song encore. "Limousine", I believe. It's about what to expect, since they only have an EP and album in their samplers, and the ticket was an unbelievable $12.53 (I bought it the Monday before the show after I downloaded Rapprocher from Amazon).

Now with all that boring music-geek shit out of the way, let's get down to the sultry stuff: Harper's stage presence. Jesus Christ! What a beauty, as The Tubes used to say. Not supermodel beauty, but the beauty of a performer whose sex appeal increases with audience adulation.

Unfortunately, winter weather prevented Harper from dressing salaciously. She wore black shoes, pants, jacket, and a white, long-sleeve dress shirt -- the kind with undone cuffs sported by knockout women and homosexual men. About halfway through the set, she lost the jacket. Yes! Gave her more wiggle room so she could run her hands through her lush dark hair and over her body, sans erogenous zones. Sexy performer she is, her shirt was undone two or three buttons, giving perverts like me in the crowd a peek every once in a while at her black bra. Good goddamn!

With visions of that class act, I skipped out of Johnny Brenda's to my Civic a couple blocks away. Plenty of cabs, no psycho white males. Lovely. . . .

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

creative wit

So I'm walking around the other during my break at work, running some errands. A group of kids are sitting at the bus stop having a conversation. In the middle of it, a girl says, "I'm not that very creative." This boy says, without missing a beat, "That's not true. I've seen how you dress." I laughed out loud. Couldn't help it.

Moscow companionship

Got my Moscow travel book in the mail today from Frommer's. Interesting little bit on page 64: "...foreign men traveling alone may be surprised by a late-night phone call to their rooms offering 'female company' for the night. If you make it clear you're not interested -- it can't hurt to mention it to the reception desk -- the solicitation will stop."

Um, yeah, I think I'll mention to the front desk not to allow those calls through.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Burr Tebow

I've been enjoying this Bill Burr video recently where he talks about Tim Tebow and salivates after some young laaaaadies. Funny stuff:

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Moscow, bitch!

I was only going to do Paris this summer while vacationing, but I figure since I'm over in Europe I might as well make a meal of it, so I'm gonna hit Warsaw, Poland and Moscow. Crazy thing with Russia is that their visa crazy. You need to fill out more paperwork than for a college's financial aid -- ya have to first to get a tourist invitation then a tourist voucher. One of these involves getting a sponsor, which a hotel can vouch for. It's going to be an interesting process. . . .

Stephen King's influence

Started listening to Stephen King's Insomnia the other night. Ever since then, I've had trouble sleeping. Coincidence? ;)

Saturday, January 7, 2012


Living up to my Boring Bachelor moniker, I thought I would blog about what I had for dinner. Picked up a T-bone-shaped swordfish steak at Whole Foods. I could've went to Pathmark or Acme, which are closer, but Whole Foods' high prices are warranted -- you do get what you pay for.

I don't think I've ever eaten swordfish, but it was amazing! Back in my thirties I used to eat seafood on Saturday nights (nothing fancy: like Mrs. Paul's and Gordon's frozen food doohickeys). I'm trying to get back into that habit, but having fresh seafood, along with vegetables, a small red potato and a mug of milk. Now them's good eating!!!

best birthday playlist ever!

My 16 years of Catholic brainwashing tells me I shouldn't brag, but I'm damn proud of this mix I came up with -- flows quite nicely:
Beatles: "Birthday" (1968)
Rocket From The Crypt: "Born in '69" (1995)
Police: "Born in the 50's" (1978)
Supersuckers: "Born with a Tail" (1995)
INXS: "Born to Be Wild" (1993)
Choking Victim: "Born to Die" (1997)
Vandals: "Happy Birthday to Me" (1995)
NOFX: "New Happy Birthday Song?" (2007)
Cure: "Happy Birthday, Simon" (1981)
Atom & His Package: "Happy Birthday, Ralph" (1997)
Models: "Happy Birthday, IBM" (1980)
Sugarcubes: "Birthday" (1988)
J Church: "Birthday" (1995)
Smiths: "Unhappy Birthday" (1987)
Replacements: "Birthday Gal" (1987)
Crazy Alice: "Birthday Card" (1996)
Mountain Goats: "Quetzalcoatl Is Born" (1994)
Insane Clown Posse: "Birthday Bitches" (2002)
Luke Campbell: "It's Your Birthday" (1994)
Cibo Matto: "Birthday Cake" (1996)
Underworld: "Born Slippery (Nuxx)" (1996)
"Weird Al" Yankovic: "Happy Birthday" (1981)
Altered Images: "Happy Birthday" (1981)
Steve Kilbey: "My Birthday, The Moon Festival (1986)
Kitaro: "Earth Born" (1975)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

To Joke Or Not to Joke, That Is This Blog Post

I don't hear the word reputed too much anymore. Think I'm gonna go around and describe myself -- since I work in publishing -- as a reputed editor. No?